Why Can’t They Just Find Someone Else to Harass?

“Post-separation abuse does not just affect the victim, it has both immediate and long-lasting effects on children resulting in high adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). ACE’s, a term used to describe any traumatic event during childhood such as divorce, violence, emotional abuse, neglect, substance abuse or even an environment that undermines a child’s sense of bonding or stability” (Tina Swinthin, One Mom’s Battle).

Understanding this abuse, being able to recognize it, and learning to respond versus react will be necessary for you and your children. You are their preferred target, that is not going to change anytime soon; especially if you share children. They will push your boundaries far beyond breaking and then some. You will learn to deal with that, and then they change their game and find a way to break a different boundary. The game of whack-a-mole that they play is extremely toxic and emotionally exhausting. We will work together to deal with them and the constant need to pivot. What they don’t understand is that their behavior toward you is constantly under scrutiny of the children. So is yours. Your kids need to have at least one parent who can set their feelings aside and be the grown up. An abusive and toxic parent will be unable to do that. So, my friend, it has to be you.