hOW AM I SUPPOSED TO “CO-PARENT” WITH MY ABUSER?

Co-parenting coaching assists parents to continue working together in a loving and protective approach to parenting by acknowledging, understanding, and removing the past deficits created from the parents’ prior relationship as well as the experiences and traumas they may have had prior to that relationship.

While it is best for all parents to be invested in the coaching process, getting the high conflict parent to acknowledge their need for assistance, and then agreeing to participate, is often impossible. We will work together to create strategies that will enable your communication to remain child centered and derail or mitigate conflict.

The abusive, antagonistic, toxic partner cannot co-parent. They will tell you they are co-parenting, and you are not. Their idea of “co-parenting” means they dictate what will happen and you fall in line and do what they say. Don’t you dare question it or have an opinion of your own. Their control of you and the children will carry-on as if no divorce ever even occurred.

They will tell everyone who will listen that they go above and beyond to serve the children, and you are a monster who tries to alienate them. At the exact same time, they will refuse to pay guideline child support, they will refuse to pay for extracurriculars, they will refuse to have doctor’s appointments “on their time” but also demand to be in attendance at them. It is like living in upside downland and you are always the one that has to “be the bigger person”. It can be far too much to take for anyone, let alone someone who is also healing from abuse. But you can do it. You have to do it.